What we call our nature, our personality, is a whole series of habits of thinking and feeling. For example habits of initiating, reacting or responding to others.
For many of us, our thoughts may be easy to shift but the behavioural aspect may take longer to shift. For others the opposite is true.
You CAN change your personality but there’s a vulnerable phase going from something that you know – the habit of being yourself – through this phase of not knowing, to a more stable new you. And it is a similar journey for organisations wanting to change their culture.
It’s hard to hold someone’s hand through the phase of wanting but not knowing if it will work. There are certain people who can’t handle the ‘agony’ of wanting something really badly and fearing they may not get it, so they resolve the tension by talking themselves out of wanting it. They learn to argue for their limitations. To argue for the negatives. To assume it won’t work. Then it is sensible not to want.
But it’s just a habit.
Want we want to learn is how to honour that habit and acknowledge that is going to take a while to change the ‘habit’. But if everyday I practice being a bit more hopeful, I move from having a belief that I can change, a conceptual understanding to a very embodied knowing that I have changed in the past and can change again now, or in the future.
we move from ‘I hope it’s true’, through little actions to ‘I know it’s true’.
Is it accompanied by a felt sense in the body when I am thinking that thought?
Sometimes when well acknowledged, it will reveal more about it’s fear and show you what it’s protecting you from.