It’s time for another house move and as I sort through 10 years of belongings, I realise that I’ve kept a lot of stuff that I don’t want, purely because I couldn’t find somewhere or someone to pass it on to and I cannot bear to put it into landfill.
I’ve had little success with the usual channels – St Vinnies etc. Even the Buy, Sell, Swap sites aren’t getting any success.
I can either give up, or I can put more effort in, to find sites or groups who do want the things that I think still have some value.
What sites and groups have you found useful?
A corporate colleague once commented that he was surprised how competitive the not-for-profit sector was. “You guys are even more cut-throat than the retail sector – you treat everyone as your competition for the fundraising dollar.”
And he was right. But organisations such as United Way and Settlement Services International (SSI), under the leadership of Violet Roumeliotis, are showing the sector how collaboration and partnership can really work.
Next week, if you haven’t got a Melbourne Cup event to get to, head over to Bankstown Auditorium to hear about the NSW Settlement Partnership – 23 organisations working proactively together to provide community settlement services.
To find out details and RSVP through Eventbrite – Click here.
Enjoyed a succinct summary of Flying Solo by Fern C. It’s a great reminder that even when solo we are not alone. It’s always about the relationships with our client – how great can we encourage them to be, as well as removing their pain.
Watching Marin Cilic succumb to emotional upset in the 2017 Wimbledon Final was excruciating. Few people want to see an athlete embarrassed on a world stage. But it gives a stark example of the impact that our emotions can have on our performance.
Cilic’s inability to manage his frustration meant that he was unable to play his best game. As he got more upset, his game deteriorated. His emotional outburst and the spiralling down of his game led to a relatively quick end to his Wimbledon bid.
In comparison, Federer, who wasn’t playing his best game either, composed himself at the end of each point and doggedly played the best he was able to – and won the prize.
There are a number of mindfulness tools that can help us compose ourselves when upsetting things happen. My top three are:
Breathe deeply: Learn to shift your focus away from the upset and onto your breathing. Here’s a variation on the old saying of take a deep breathe and count to 10: Take a deep breath in for a count of four and then a deeper breath out for a count of six. Repeat. Repeat again. After 60 seconds the body will start to settle.
Distract yourself with something you like. There is a reason why cat videos are so popular – they are a great emotional distraction. Have a video or songs on standby to help you ‘change the channel’. Smile!
Move. Emotions are connected to body posture, so get up and move if you can. Jiggle your arms and legs if you are clenching in frustration. Stomp up or down stairs if you need to release anger. Find a piece of greenery and walk towards it. Open your arms palms upward, or put your hands on your hips to give you ‘attitude’.
The hard part is remembering these tools and techniques when you need them, so the key is learning and practicing the techniques before you need them.
Some suggestions: Find a physical class, a YouTube video or a mobile app. Put a reminder in your calendar to practice at least weekly. Make it fun. Buddy-up if you can.
What’s your ‘go to’ emotion switcher?
I’m familiar with gratitude diaries, giving thanks for my blessings and many other versions of this concept …and … Chade-Meng Tan has just put the icing on the cake, so to speak, in his new book Joy on Demand.
As he describes it: in every day there are tiny moments of joy. Here are just a few of mine: a pinky-orange sunrise, the feel of the sun on my back, the aroma of coffee, the feel of a warm hand in mine, the satisfaction of helping someone, the way my body moves to a well-loved tune, an internet story about people doing good in the world, the athleticism of Roger Federer, Continue reading →
What we call our nature, our personality, is a whole series of habits of thinking and feeling. For example habits of initiating, reacting or responding to others.
For many of us, our thoughts may be easy to shift but the behavioural aspect may take longer to shift. For others the opposite is true.
You CAN change your personality but there’s a vulnerable phase going from something that you know – the habit of being yourself – through this phase of not knowing, to a more stable new you. And it is a similar journey for organisations wanting to change their culture.
It’s hard to hold someone’s hand through the phase of wanting but not knowing if it will work. There are certain people who can’t handle the ‘agony’ of wanting something really badly and fearing they may not get it, so they resolve the tension by talking themselves out of wanting it. They learn to argue for their limitations. To argue for the negatives. To assume it won’t work. Then it is sensible not to want.
But it’s just a habit.
Want we want to learn is how to honour that habit and acknowledge that is going to take a while to change the ‘habit’. But if everyday I practice being a bit more hopeful, I move from having a belief that I can change, a conceptual understanding to a very embodied knowing that I have changed in the past and can change again now, or in the future.
we move from ‘I hope it’s true’, through little actions to ‘I know it’s true’.
Is it accompanied by a felt sense in the body when I am thinking that thought?
Sometimes when well acknowledged, it will reveal more about it’s fear and show you what it’s protecting you from.
Thanks to Anne Wilson Schaef for her call to all of us, especially women, to participate more in creating a society that we want to live in.
Questions that keep me up at night:
What are the business practices that encourage enterprises to grow?
How/can we breakdown bureaucracies – where the people exist to serve the system / their manager, not the customer?
Is more growth always better?
In today’s webinar at the Starting Good Virtual Summit, Kari Enge, founder of Rank&File Magazine told us a salutary tale about how a focus on dollars and efficiency can kill a people-focused culture in less than six months. To avoid this, she says it’s crucial at an early stage for entrepreneurs, especially social entrepreneurs, “to decide their leadership philosophy … and imagine their perfect culture”.
So who is already doing this well?
We have good role models in a number of tech enterprises. Google used its data analytics power in Project Aristotle to find out what makes a successful team and concludes that psychological safety as well as purposeful work, are two of the five success factors keys. The CEO of Menlo Innovations and author of Joy Inc. says his mission is to “emancipate the heart of the engineers…which is to serve others. He thinks that there is a limit to the size of a business if it wants to bring joy to its customers. And home-grown enterprises such as Atlassian, tell us that healthy teams embrace continuous improvement. They also say the dirty secret is that team work is ‘very’ hard and tools are not the ‘fix-it’. They contribute their team playbook to the world, because they know it will be ‘very’ hard to emulate, especially for competitors who have an ‘efficiency and dollars must prevail’ philosophy.
We need even more examples of those who are doing good for customers as well as for employees and especially those in the social sphere.
Whom do you admire? What are they doing differently from the ‘norm’? Where can we find them and highlight the good practices they have developed?
Fabulous phrase from Paul Hawken – “carbon is the element that holds hands and collaborates”. Listen to Hawken as he launches the new playbook, Drawdown. Drawdown shows us, in a very visual and practical way, the actions we can each take to reduce future climate warming. It also “does the math” and shows what we should be supporting in our communities and countries, in order to ensure a future for our youth on this planet.
As part of my intention to become a ‘maker’ more than a ‘consumer’ of information and stories, I appreciate James Clear’s advice today on How to Read Better.
The article suggests that if we want to become better readers we need firstly, to find a way to make our thoughts visible – by making notes – and then searchable. I agree that the best tool is Evernote and I am intrigued to find out more about Clippings for Kindle. I also make a note of the author and the concept, in the header section of my written journal so I can track down comments, though it’s still a manual process to flip through the pages. One day I will explore how to scan my journals.
Secondly, Clear suggests we need to connect the dots between the various ideas that we read. I do a lot of this already – asking myself “hmmm what does this remind me of?” and I can always improve by asking this question. E.g. applying my recent reading from BJ Fogg and his Tiny Habits, I wonder how I can set a tiny habit to capture one idea after each article / book / podcast?
Thirdly, summarise the main idea/s in a paragraph. In Clear’s article the main ideas are to practice making your reading memorable via searchable notes and by connecting the ideas with other things you’ve written. Then look for one thing you can apply immediately, even if application is writing a summary and sending it to someone who will benefit.
And I will add a fourth – appreciation for the author – so thanks James for your article and your ongoing improvement endeavours. You are a good role model.